How to Get Rid of Your Preacher: 

* Look him straight in the eye and say 'Amen' once in a while. He'll preach himself to death within a few weeks.

* Pat him on the back and brag on his good points. He'll work himself to death.

* Start paying him a living wage. He's probably been on starvation wages for so long he'll eat himself to death.

* Rededicate your own life and ask the preacher to give you a job to do. He'll probably die of heart failure.

* Get the congregation to unite in prayer for the pastor. He'll become so effective some larger church will soon take him off your hands.

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