Once there was a young minister who kept boring his congregation with sermon after sermon on baptism. Finally church officers instructed him to preach on the subject of the following Sunday. They could see no connection between pills and baptism.

So on Sunday, the young minister announced that would be his topic for the day. "There are big pills and there are little pills," he said, "bitter pills and sweet pills, cheap pills and expensive pills. Another pill is the gospill-and that gets to my real subject-'baptism.'

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We were fixing to have summer camp in out church, and we were encouraging the kids to fill out cards.  We had a questionnaire on the card and had them scattered about the building.  At the end of the Church service, a lady responded during the invitation, she came and sat down on the front bench.  She picked a card, started to filling it out.  We have the cards for new members there.  I went over to talk to her, asked her how we could help her.  She said,

"Well, I want to be baptized."

I said, "Well, just put that on the card there."

She said, "I have, but I don't understand this next question."

I looked at the card, and it said, "Can you swim?"

Source: The Preacher Joke Book_, edited by Loyal Jones, p. 53.

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