2coming

Second Coming

"Gas Men"

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee

were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck

at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last

house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they

checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-

worker to a footrace down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older

guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last

house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped immediately and

asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as

you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

The nuts by the fence....

Just inside the cemetery fence grew a huge nut tree. One day two boys filled

a bucket with its nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, to divide them.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,"said the elder boy. The

bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence.

Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. Thinking that he heard

voices from inside the cemetery, he slowed to investigate. Sure enough, he

heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you." He knew what it was. "Oh

my!" he shuddered, "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the

cemetery!" He rode down the road and found an old man with a cane, hobbling

along. "Come quick!" he said, "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St.

Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."

"Shoo, you brat! Can't you see how hard it is for me to walk?" But after

repeated pleas the man hobbled to the cemetery and heard, "One for you, one

for me. One for you, one..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin'

the truth! Let's see if we can see the Devil himself."

Shivering with fear, they edged toward the fence. Unable to see anything,

they nonetheless heard the chant:., "One for you, one for me. One for you, one

for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Let's go get those nuts by the

fence, and we'll be done." They say the old man reached town 10 minutes

before the boy!